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Feelings and Reminiscence

Writer: Shruti Patoa
Photography by: Lakshay Bhoria

“If you remember it, it matters.”

We try to seek reality and then live in a world built by our opinions. We analyze a situation on the basis of what we think. We think only because we know.

We often draw conclusions in life on the basis of the past experiences we had. Sometimes these past experiences help us get through certain situations and sometimes they don’t.

Beyond that, we have moments of life we do not wish to forget. Either those moments are a beautiful part of your life or a lesson. These memories have a special place in your brain (obviously) and in your heart as well. Also, the fact that people do want to keep these memories, explains why they are scared of forgetting them.

The beauty of our heart is that it doesn’t let your mind deny what it wants. Well, there are times when we get shivers down the spine just by thinking about a particular memory. That is exactly why we fear to recall bad experiences. We preassume that the moment we would start thinking about it, it’ll make us weak.

The exact reason for why we can’t get over the misfortune is that we are unable to face the flashbacks we get in our minds. We keep the fear of the incident inside us in a small box, and then we never dare to open that box resulting in the permanency of that fear.

The only way to get over it to face it. Until you don’t face your fear, you don’t recover. The moment you face it, you are no more afraid of it. Once you open that box of fears, you gain the courage to pull it out of you.

Life is a long journey, don’t let small obstacles ruin the very essence of this beautiful path.

“If you know your strengths, work on your weaknesses. If you know your fear, work on your confidence.”

 

The Choice

Photography By: Lakshay Bhoria
Written By: Shruti Patoa

Stressed? Tensed? or absolutely indulged in worrying about the next thing that is going to happen? Well, what do you think would be the conclusion? 

Whenever we think of possible probabilities for a particular situation, we always end up thinking of the most horrible outcomes. We have a habit of thinking the worst of something. We are so negative at times that we even get upset with the thought of failure. Be it be our next goal, next problem, next exam or next result declaration. We would think the worse possible outcome of everything. 

Say it is your exam, just before the exam while you are already stressed, you would come up with probabilities that the questions may come out of syllabus. Say if it is a problem, you would think how a problem like a bite of mosquito may end up giving you malaria. Seems funny, isn’t it? That is the level of negativity we have at times. 

There must be a reason for this negativity as well. Negativity is a choice, not a compulsion. Initially, we all tried to be negative for something assuming that if we think the opposite of what we want, we would get what we want. Nobody can deny this. But after a point of time, as this tactic grew into a habit, we changed our viewpoint about it. Now, we think that something negative would happen for real; and start stressing even more over it. 

Lack of confidence may be one of the reasons as well. Our will power must be so strong that no negative vibes should surround us. If we wish to accomplish something, we would, with determination. Sometimes one mishappening becomes the cause of all the negativity inside you. You must realize you don’t get all that you want, but you get all that you need. You must realize that if it isn’t here even after you tried to get it, it is not meant to be here. If you go unsuccessful somewhere, you will have to stay strong and look for other opportunities instead of saying that you don’t deserve to be anywhere. 

It is a truth, positivity is a boost and a choice. The more optimistic you are, the more opportunities you get,  the more goals you accomplish. Positivity works as a good vibe and helps you to get an absolutely different level of energy to do things. Of course, you all have heard of this but none of you actually bothered to implement this. Well, now it is your choice between the good and the bad vibes.

“We live somewhere between the reality we are afraid to face and the fantasy we fear might become a reality.”

 

An Entreaty

Photography by Prabuddha Dasgupta

Writers: Shruti Patoa ft. Nikita Sachanandani

Beyond jealousy, revenge and insecurities, there lies a beautiful world where people care for each other, respect each other and wish for each other’s well-being. There are people who do not let their steps and actions get influenced by what they’ve faced or they’re facing. Sometimes, we fail to understand that a life beyond the setback does exist. How you handle your emotions depict your strength. 

To the woman who loves him next

It’s a widely talked about theory that you don’t get to keep your first love, which is fine because a one-sided lover didn’t get to keep me either, call it fate or karma.

The clumsy and mysteriously silly guy you’ve been embracing in your arms is the first love I’m talking about. My first love.

While the worldly elements of typicality are expecting jealousy, I’m here putting forward a request.

I had loved him for as long as I could trace my memories to the past, and whether I do now or not, is a matter of insignificance.

The fact that he’s chosen you is no less than an assurance of your willpower, for his choices are always unique.
So while you’re still the woman he admires, and I’m still the ones he’s left behind in his past, I request you, please, Be just as soft with your hands and touches the next time you’re holding him
Be just as careful with your words, for his delicate perceptions are easily broken
Be just as considerate with the emotions, it’s rare that he catches such feelings so easily. And amidst all this, be just as powerful a woman you are and not let your respect down.

After all, we both might have decided to let go of things, I’m still not as stiff a person to see someone I once loved falling apart again.

Regards
The woman who’s loved him first.

“Your devotion must be so pure, that your solicitude is felt without an attempt of its display.” -Shruti

Straightforward Note #2

Image Source: Pintrest
Author: Shruti Patoa

Let’s talk this straight. Can people stop talking about giving more power, respect, and protection to women? I like the idea of feminism. I agree that women had suffered a lot from the ancient times since men were thought to be more powerful. This was a characteristic feature from which our society evolved. We realized the potential women possess. We even admitted it long ago that the female gender has been suffering a lot and need to get their rights back. Feminists fought for it. People united for it. Yet even today, all we see is, a girl, a lady, a woman is always scared or suppressed. If not, is considered to be like a man. Excuse me? If she is fearless, she is like a man? Then please explain that how does this change anything, it’s just the same as it was maybe 100 years ago. I really appreciate how people try to help women in different sectors to prove our potential, but to be honest, we need more of allowances & support and less of help. Patriarchy won’t stop. Women aren’t safe, just because they can be molested, harassed or raped? What is the use of keeping your girl undercover when you cannot correct the boys? Women cannot do things alone because male is the powerful sex? Why aren’t those women who can carry a life inside her womb for 9 months and push an entire individual out of her considered to be weak?

For all those women who fought to reach wherever they are, I salute you. For all those men who supported a female and inspired her to do something, she dreamt of doing thank you. For all those women who struggled yet fought to correct the wrong, I respect you yet I pity you more. I pity you because now either people will not value your gender or try to protect and respect your gender more. Sadly, when all of us were trying to ask for a simple thing; equality, they fought to raise a society that gives women superiority. Basically, we are trying to change the gender and keep the rules same or keep the gender same and let people shout and fight for female sex forever.

“They are feminists by looks and sexists by soul.”

 

Depression

Photography By: Christian Hopkins
Author: Shruti Patoa

What is Depression?

A phase of life, which is experienced by everyone. Some get stuck in that phase. Some people just touch it, feel the negative vibes incoming and retreat. This is the phase where people give up on themselves. They fail to realize that they can’t get out of it until they build faith in themselves once again.

Do they always get out of it?

Yes, they do. Everyone does. When they are in that phase, they feel they will never be able to get out of it, or maybe it’ll take forever for them to gather the courage to fight it. But at the end, just like a particular problem doesn’t stay forever, this also won’t.

How real is depression?

As real as emotions are. Depression hits you deeply, perhaps so deep that people fear to measure its depth. This failure has caused a confusion; the people who are not into it feel that they are, and the people who are deep into it, are generally unaware of the fact that they are.

How fast can someone recover?

Depends on the time that person would take to gather courage, to get head and heart back to reality, to restore faith in himself/herself. It’s all in the hands of the sufferer, how he builds himself again.

“It will seem to never end. But it will. Dont be so stressed about it that it starts harming you. Be bold. You need to help yourself. Then you need to help others too.”

Straightforward Note #1

S.N. 1: Relationships Now
Photography by: Murad Osmann (Follow Me To)
Writer: Shruti Patoa

Let’s just face it. It is sad how so many people are unsure if they are happy or not. They do not know why they are in a relationship. They follow the mainstream trend of the modern world, that suggests that you need someone to hold you when you are falling, which is completely wrong. The world nowadays portrays relationships to me more than just being in each other’s company. Everyone attempts to be that cheesy, PDA (Public Display of Affection) type of couple. And if they are single or had a breakup they feel they cannot get out of situations by themselves. They will either try to push themselves to a zone where they want to be alone or would fill their social media handles with abuse for the person. Can you stop the blame game? Today people have made relationship more of a habit than a responsibility. Some people look for relationships only because they couldn’t successfully be happy in their previous relationship. So, now they are getting used to jumping into new relationships because they cannot get over the last one.  It is even more depressing to see people completely lost in the breeze of having a good looking partner. It’s more about posting pictures together and letting the world know that you are together. We see very rare relationships today that are profound. Some people do appreciate the presence of their partner from their heart and stay true to them. Yet some people seem to forget the very essence of love.

Firstly, please know this that you don’t need someone to hold you because you’ve always walked alone. You always have yourself to help yourself as you fall. Secondly, please stop setting yourself into a criterion of how couples should be or how relationships should look like. You don’t stay with a person because it looks nice to stay with them, stay with them because staying with them feels good to you because you find solace when you are with them. Please stop following the trend that says having a girlfriend or boyfriend is cool. Please don’t be dependent on your partner, please let your relationship be a support. It’s not that relationships are bad, it is just that we are trying to make it something it is not. Stop rushing for love.

“Love is a profound feeling that differs from person to person, some find it in messeges and letters, some find it in food and flowers.”

Attainable

Photography By: Gilroy Rodrigues
Author: Shruti Patoa

We all witness a point of time when we are no longer able to keep ourselves motivated. We feel that we won’t be able to achieve it and you feel like leaving it once and for all. You feel that it is dragging you down. The challenges don’t just seem to end and everything looks a mess as if now nothing is left to be done. 

Do you recall the time when you were learning how to ride a bicycle? When you fell off the bicycle while riding? It was painful, isn’t it? You had decided you will never ride that bicycle again, but only for a moment. You gathered the courage and started riding it again. You had fallen off it several times but you finally succeeded.
Do you remember when you committed a mistake and felt that your parents will never forgive you? You felt like it was the end of everything and they will never love you the way they did but they forgave you isn’t it?
Do you remember when someone lied to your face and you trusted them and in the end, you were hurt by their actions? That was the time when you felt like never trusting anyone else in your life, but you did. Of course, you trusted someone with something and met someone trustworthy finally isn’t it?

You must’ve come across at least one of these situations, did you overcome them? Yes, great! No? That’s okay, you will soon. At least now you know you will. Setbacks cannot determine the conclusion of absolutely everything, keep that in mind. They don’t define your overall effort and output.  Well saying that nothing is impossible is rather dishonest, but trust me things are under our control till we put efforts to keep them under our control. Until we don’t stop putting efforts, nothing is impossible. And by efforts I mean precisely wise steps, and bold decisions.

I know you are stressed if you’ll ever overcome your problems, your fear, your sadness or these tough times. It is simple, you will, definitely. When? It’s like a game where until you don’t achieve the objective of learning something from those adversities and difficulties, you don’t enter the next level, you don’t progress. Keep trying, be brave and stop thinking that you can’t.

That challenge, that problem must offend you rather than scaring you. It must offend you such that, you crave to do better and prove yourself to be strong.

“Now you have to choose, either you have to fall with fear or rise with strength.”

Absolve

Photography by: Gillroy Rodrigues
Author: Shruti Patoa

There is always a part of you that screams for silence, for solitude, for peace and searches for seclusion. The best part about this phase lies in the beauty of your personality during this phase. You tend to explore yourself, discover your ideals and principles, and recognize the disturbance that has caused this feeling.

Just like a touch-me-not, we tend to resist people when they try to gain any knowledge of our state of being. We live in a world, where people constantly try to keep things to themselves and destroy their inner peace.

There lies a difference between ‘keeping things to yourself’ and ‘spending time with yourself’ and you must practice the latter one. Keeping things to yourself is like stalking books in a row, and if you keep doing it, there would be a point when it will follow a drastic collapse. No one wants to experience a breakdown like that.

Meanwhile, do you remember those trips you had in your childhood where you explored things and absolutely admired everything around? When all the beautiful girls chased butterflies and all the smart boys ran behind different insects and animals. Try having such exploration trips with your heart, mind and soul. All those questions that were bothering you will be answered, all the vexation will vanish.

You have been stuffing yourself for long, so long that you barely know what do you know and what you don’t, what do you believe and what not. The challenge is to find out that now.

You have to decide, what do you want now. It’s your decision, whether to burden your heart will all those thoughts or let yourself recognize the real you.

“Your fragile steps will evolve as the strongest foundation of your personality. Make your move wisely.”

Perception

Author : Shruti Patoa
Image Source : Pintrest

Have you ever thought, that even if we have two eyes that identify colours and witness wonderful moments, we fail to see ourselves. We can see others, observe them, as well as their actions. Yet even if we can’t see ourselves, we know ourselves more than anyone else in this world. Isn’t this enough to justify the fact that, not everything you see is the truth.

We tend to observe things and assume it the way it is happening. Yes, that is due to the strong believe on everything we see, and the trust that we place in our eyes. The question is, what is the use of being so strong and confident on our observations, when we aren’t this strong and confident on ourselves.

We are so quick to judge, to form opinions that we often forget that we can never determine how the fruit is inside by looking at it from outside. We blindly follow the mob and scream ‘Don’t judge a book by its cover’ yet do the same literally all the time.  After we form an opinion of someone, we make opinion for ourselves as well. Why? You know what you are, why do u need to pretend that you are something else?

We seem to follow the tradition of calling ourselves less efficient, when someone praises. It is like a booster to us. But wait, the difficulty arises when you actually start thinking how you are not good at something, and all the negative vibes start entering the room. You get praises because you are doing well, if you reply with a thank you, you are already assuring that you will progress with the same pace. Yet we say “No, I am not good.” and decline to take any accountability of further progress or setback.

Our eyes show us so many things, we wish to see all rights and no wrongs. All bright and no dark, all positive and no negative. But until your eyes don’t witness the wrongs and negatives in the dark, the rights and positive will not reflect in the bright.

Help yourself, help your eyes. Let your brain relax, stay smooth at everything you are doing. Let your eyes rest, and use it to discover the beautiful world.

“Even if your eyes can’t see you; there lies your vision, which can see you, make you see your progress and that is all that you need. It demands you to be free from, half seen and half heard assumptions.”

 

Frequent Uncertainty

Author : Shruti Patoa
Photography by: Nikki Harrison

We are those novels that may be loved by someone and may be disliked by someone. It doesn’t degrade or upgrade our main content. The most common thing we all are afraid of is criticism. We often come across situations in life, where we do something by our choice and receive criticism. Sometimes the censure comes from our near and dear ones. We then suffer a multi-emotional time. We think maybe we are not worth doing it, or rather that they never support me when I am doing something well, or perhaps I couldn’t deliver the best because of some reason and so on.

Well, in that situation you must control that outburst of multiple emotions and sit and think about the reasons that made people criticize you. Sometimes, it’s maybe because its not something we should try to do and the critics are right. However, sometimes it’s maybe because your efforts weren’t just enough, or rather its a test to check how could you survive this situation.

Sometimes the criticism is all that we need, to understand that we aren’t meant for something particular but something different and better.

Well never lose hope, if you are truly determined to do it, critics cannot stop you. If you think you will achieve it and the critics need to wait, ignore the condemnation and keep going forward. You are that bird, who gets a slight injury with those harsh words on your wings. You cannot quit flying my dear, you will recover and will fly. You just need to change your flying strategy and become more conscious.

“They will either hit you because they want you to know that you aren’t meant for fighting business, or to uplift you after that fall so that your ambition to achieve increases, or to make you realize that the fight is difficult and if you are determined to stay, you must change your strategy.”